A Police Story

Karen* came to Community Pregnancy Center to join me in a Bible study.   She suffered from PTSD – specifically: post abortion syndrome.  Karen was diagnosed as pregnant when she went for the police academy physical.  She had not even missed a period when the nurse came in an announced that she was pregnant.  Karen immediately went to an abortion facility where she was examined; they sent her home for 2 weeks because she was not pregnant enough for any abortion procedure. 

Karen returned after her 2-week waiting period, received her two doses of medication (administered in the RU486 medical abortion), was asked if she would like anything for the pain, ‘because some people find the cramps severe.’  She thought, “how bad can it be” and declined.

 

Karen returned home and took her first pill. 

24 hours later she took the second. 

The clinic had said, she would want to take the day off, rest, and allow the process to happen.  So, she did. 

Karen reported that when cramps started, she had never experienced pain at that level.  She began to wish that she had that Vicodin, and then the bleeding began.  She had never seen so much blood.  This was not a regular period, this seemed like a hemorrhage.  The clinic had said there would be a lot of blood.  They also said she might see the “product of conception” when it was expelled, and she should just flush it down the toilet.  No muss, no fuss, no worries. 

But Karen was worried. 

Her clothes were ruined. 

The comfy blanket she was curled up in was blood soaked. 

The bathroom was bloody, and as she recounted the incident to me, she compared the bathroom to a crime scene.  She did see the “product of conception” and continued to see it in her dreams.

She cleaned, and washed and cleaned some more, but still in her mind she saw blood.

She threw away the clothes and the sheets and the comfy blanket.  And still she saw blood.

She forfeited her deposit and moved to a new apartment in hopes, she would no longer, see the blood.

No one knew of Karen’s pain but me. Joining the police department was a life-long dream.  She chose to do whatever was necessary to make it through the PT part of training and the police academy.  She did not tell her mom – she suffered alone – because her mom would disapprove. She did not tell her sisters – she was embarrassed that she allowed this pregnancy to happen.  Keeping this pregnancy a secret was paramount.  So, when the pain was unbearable, and the blood was unbelievable, and she thought she might die right there in her apartment, she had no one to call because this secret was too big to share. 

I saw what happens when one mistake turns into several.

I saw a woman broken and battered. 

              Emotionally destroyed.

     Completely alone.

And then I saw God step in.

Finally, she came to the pregnancy center,

where we talked,

we cried,

we relived the nightmare

                                                    and cried more. 

Then we talked about a GOD who loved her. 

Jesus who died for her. 

The pain will never be gone – physically or mentally, but spiritually, we come to that place where we understand and believe we are so loved by our Savior and our Creator that His sacrifice does pay the price.  We can stop punishing ourselves, Jesus already took that punishment.  We are precious and loved.  We are sons and daughters of the KING, adopted into God’s family, holy, precious, and loved. 

  

“Jesus loves me, this I know.  For the Bible tells me so.  Little ones to Him belong. 

We are weak, but HE is strong!”

Don’t suffer in silence!  Call your church, your local pregnancy resource center, tell your mom – she will be sad, but she loves you, she will hold you and hug you, and cry with you.  Don’t let abortion end 2 lives – call today!  Ask for help!

*Name changed to protect confidentially