Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Sex and Revenge Story

Late Monday evening, our Client Advocate sat down with a beautiful 23 year old woman. Knowing this client’s forms read “Undecided” about abortion, the counselor began the appointment. She asked about any STD history, any prior pregnancies, and general information related to this possible pregnancy. Without much poking or prodding, the client opened up and vented her story of revenge.

            Because her mother chose addiction to meth over her daughter, the client grew up in a variety of foster homes. From a young age, she was passed around from house to house. She came. She left. She stayed. She moved. She settled down, only to be taken to a new home. Though she was constantly learning to trust anew, she believed that she was at least safe, protected inside the system from a life like her mother’s.

            She reached adulthood quickly. At just 22 years of age, she was already the mother to a toddler and the fiancé to a long time boyfriend. They lived with his parents. Together, they were planning their wedding, planning to be an official family, but their plans were forever halted. In December, they were both in a horrific car accident. She herself was life-flighted to a local hospital. She survived the collision with minor damage, but her fiancé did not. He is currently in a coma with no signs of response. The doctors told his family the heartbreaking news: IF he ever awoke, he would have to live within a nursing home with constant care, because his brain had been that deeply damaged. He would never be the same.
            Grieving her incredible loss, this client sought comfort in her ex-boyfriend, a close friend of 7 years. She needed his friendship in dealing with such heavy news. While her then fiancé laid in a coma, the client learned that he wasn’t the man she once thought. She discovered the truth: Before the tragic accident, her fiancé was doing drugs, and he was cheating on her. The trust he had earned, the man she thought he was—all a mirage.

            The client’s grief grew to anger. This man was no different than her mother. Despite the accident, despite the coma, she wanted revenge. If he slept with someone else, then so could she. She went straight to her ex-boyfriend-her comfort in the grief-and had a one night stand. It was done and now out of her system. Yet now, weeks later, she sat in our counseling room, staring at a positive test. She was pregnant with the ex-boyfriend’s child.

“I don’t believe in abortion, but I don’t know what to do!”

 If she kept this baby, her one night stand would become public knowledge. If she kept this baby, she would have to admit that her plans for her future really were over. If she chose life, she would be homeless, kicked out of her ex-fiancé’s home. She tried to stay open to all the options, but she was also terrified of all the options.

Our Client Advocate confronted the abortion conversation, and explained the cost, the procedure itself, and the real life risks of that choice. It’s 2014 and abortion is still dangerous, no matter how pretty a picture Planned Parenthood tries to paint. Our counselor answered all of the client’s questions, but she delved deeper. She asked about the client’s personal walk with Christ.

The client claimed a relationship with the Lord. These obvious decisions in her life were not reflective of that, she admitted, but she had accepted Him. Seeing the sincerity, the counselor reminded her of God’s relentless grace and unconditional love. Mistakes don’t scare God away. One night stands don’t intimidate Him. Yes, sin grieves the Holy Spirit. Yes, it is because of our sin that God sent His own perfect Son to die our death. Yes, He sees our sin, but He chooses to love us anyway. God saw us at our very darkest, yet, filled with irrational love, He chose to send Christ to die so we could be saved. While we were rejecting Him, He was pursuing us. While this client was choosing sex and revenge, her Heavenly Father was choosing to love His lost daughter. This is grace.

“After all these things have happened in my life,
God must want me to have this baby.”

Her mother rejected her for meth, but God protected her in foster homes. Her car violently crashed into another one, but God delivered her with her life. Her fiancé betrayed her trust, but God offered her redemption through a new LIFE inside of her. God gently drew this wandering heart back into His open arms.

A week later, the client came for her ultrasound appointment. Seeing her 9 week old baby move on the screen and hearing her baby’s heartbeat fill the room reaffirmed what God assured her in that first counseling room.
He is with her.
He is for her.
He is her powerfully forgiving King.
She chose LIFE.

“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us
while we were still sinners.”
Romans 5:8