The Fearful Christian's Story

One of our newest client advocates sat down in the counseling room with a new 26 year old client. This woman’s general information revealed that she was already “undecided” about the issue of abortion. She slowly began the devastating story that brought her to us. Though this was her FIRST time at The Community Pregnancy Center, she wasn’t a teenager who wanted to keep the pregnancy hidden from her parents. She wasn’t uneducated or even confused about how this could have happened. She was a lonely, fearful Christian, so far away from her Father’s arms.

            She was unemployed, living with her brother and her children. She was a mom to two kids from two different fathers. She was just 17 years old when she admitted that she was pregnant to her FIRST boyfriend. He didn’t hesitate in his response; he ran. The father of her second child followed this example, leaving her alone with two kids.

            After the rejection from these two men, she sought love with others. Again, she saw 2 more positive pregnancy tests. Before she could announce the news, however, these pregnancies ended, resulting in her FIRST and second miscarriage. Her pursuit for love desperately continued. Just 5 months ago, she surrendered herself to another man. Like the many before him, he left her when she admitted that she was again pregnant. She was alone. She was scared. She was seemingly out of options, so she called the abortion clinic for the FIRST time in her life. A few days later, she had a suction aspiration abortion at 8 weeks pregnant. Her boyfriend soon returned in relief at her decision.

            Now, she sat in our counseling room. The test read positive. She was pregnant again by the same man who left her a few months ago for this very reason. How could she endure another man leaving? How could she endure another abortion? How could she endure another miscarriage? How could she possibly carry another pregnancy in this situation?

            Feeling led by the Holy Spirit, the client advocate entered into the deeper issue behind all these questions by FIRST asking, “Are you a Christian?” The client quietly answered that yes, she was. “Do you feel secure about going to Heaven?” The young woman stopped, really thinking before she answered, “Well, not really. I’ve done so many bad things.” The counselor compassionately shared the good news of the Gospel!

            Heaven is not and will never be dependent on the good deeds we do or don’t do for God. It’s not based on how many times we turn away from God. It’s not about what we do at all, because it’s solely based on what Christ Jesus did, and what he did is DONE. He has permanently solidified our place with God. By accepting this gift, our hearts are claimed by the King of all Kings and changed by His gracious hands.

He loved this client before her FIRST abortion. He loved her before the FIRST pregnancy test. He loved her before the FIRST man left her. He loved her FIRST, and His love has remained unmoved, no matter how far she has drifted away. Our client advocate explained this love, and assured this wandering, fearful Christian that God’s not mad at her. He pursues her. He loves her. He’s ready to forgive and welcome her safely home.

She prayed and settled her salvation!

She chose LIFE for her baby by choosing adoption!

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us.”

1John 4:18-19

The Prisoner's Story

Last Wednesday, our afternoon client advocate waited for her 3 o’clock appointment. Finally the door opened, and the woman calmly filled out her paperwork. She reached the final blank, a question asking for her opinion on abortion as an option. The new client checked “undecided”, and returned her forms to the front desk. After preparing and praying, our client advocate led the woman into the second counseling room, introduced herself, and closed the door. Covered in tattoos, this 27 year old woman unloaded her story, a story which began when she was a new teenager.

                At 14 years old, our client gave birth to her first child, the first of 8 total pregnancies. With this first boyfriend, she shared 6 children. Despite their years together, he never married her. Soon after the birth of their youngest child, our client was arrested and imprisoned for drugs. Through this revelation, she lost her family. Her first love-the father of her children-left her and won sole custody. With no one waiting for her release, our client served her time in prison for four and a half years.

                When she finally left her prison cell, she rekindled a former friendship with another man, who also was recently discharged after a 10 year prison sentence. They quickly surrendered to a sexual relationship. Just 3 months after her prison release, she discovered she was pregnant with his baby. Both her and her new boyfriend sank into disbelief. They were unemployed with looming criminal records, yet now they were going to be parents? No, she couldn’t do that to a child. Adoption was out of the question. She would rather her unborn child die than hand him over to new parents. The choice was clear. In August, with the support of her boyfriend, she had an abortion.

                Now, just a few months later, she was in the same position of a possible pregnancy with the same reasons for an abortion as before. Nothing had changed, except now she was looking for hope. Instead of driving to Planned Parenthood for her answer, she waited. God directed her to the Community Pregnancy Center on a Wednesday afternoon for a pregnancy test appointment.

Sensing the loneliness in the woman before her, our client advocate asked about a relationship with God. The client admitted to a Catholic background, but her fears about God were simple: “I’m too bad to go to Heaven.” The free sex. The pregnancy at 14. The drugs. The prison sentence. The loss of her children. The abortion. She had done “too much”. She had made too many wrong decisions to deserve Heaven. Heaven was for people who got married and went to church and gave money to the poor. It wasn’t for people like her. How could it be? She was “too bad” for God.

                Our client advocate stepped forward into this divine opportunity, explaining the glory and hope of God’s grace. Regardless of this pregnancy test’s result , this client was “too bad”, yet so was the client advocate, so was the executive director, so am I. All of humanity-past, present, and future-ALL fall short of deserving God. We could never make enough right choices, go to enough church services, or give enough money to the poor to ever rightfully earn a relationship with God, but our Merciful Creator intervened anyway! Only through the death of His perfect Son could the churched and the unchurched, the serving and the selfish, the good and the bad be made whole. He accepted the full weight of sin’s punishment, so that this woman in October 2013 could have the option of redemption.

The pregnancy test read positive.

The Client Advocate scheduled an ultrasound.

                A week later, the client returned, and saw a perfectly formed, healthy 8 week old baby.  She was still unemployed. Her jail time didn’t disappear. Her reasons for an abortion just 2 months ago were still prevalent, but as she saw the baby squirming around on the ultrasound’s screen, she smiled. Her circumstances were the same, but it didn’t matter. Of course, to her, it may have been the counseling, or it may have been the ultrasound, but neither could have made such an impact. Her loving King, refusing to quit, pursued, softened, and changed the heart of His treasured creation.

She chose LIFE!

 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 3:23-24

The Wiccan's Story

                Appointments like the one on Monday morning prove that The Community Pregnancy Center is not just a facility with free pregnancy tests. We’re not just client advocates. We’re not just ultrasounds or pregnancy classes. Monday’s appointment reminded us all that we are a facility with eternal hope. We’re vessels, individually used in the Potter’s hands. We’re the outstretched arms of God to the young girls in this community.

                Monday morning, our client advocate called the waiting teenager into her counseling room. They sat together as the client advocate received the basic information. The client was just 18 years old, freshly graduated with her high school diploma. The father of the possible pregnancy was 9 years older than her. After dating 8 months, he proposed marriage. They were engaged just 3 weeks on Monday. This pregnancy, if validated, would not be unwanted. The couple hoped for children together. This was according to their plan. She only came to our center in the first place to receive that confirmation.

She may have wanted a pregnancy test,

but God wanted a lost soul.

                When the client advocate asked the teenager about her relationship with God, she replied, “Well, I believe in a Supreme! But God is just one of my gods.” Exploring that statement, the client advocate learned that this young girl was a Wiccan. The teenager then elaborated on her beliefs, telling the counselor of the magic of WICCA. Calmly, the counselor asked her second question to fully grasp the extent of this belief: “Where do you believe you’ll go when you die?”

“I’ll become a tree.”

                The religion of WICCA is a modern deviation from the witchcraft belief, sometimes referenced synonymously. Like their predecessors, Wiccans believe in strong, dark magic. They believe in an inner harmony. Though the religion typically worships both a god and a goddess, they also honor a host of others. The moon, stars, and fate are all spun together as core belief structures, along with reincarnation. Because the religion incorporates a multitude of convictions and also because many in the “traditions” separate themselves into individual categories, Wiccans are a highly varied, highly lost people with no lasting hope. This is who sat in our counseling room, wholly convinced that the only peak in her future was transforming into a tree among a forest.

                Our client advocate, filled with words directly from God Himself, spoke holy truth into this teenager. She introduced the confused beliefs to a righteous Savior. She explained a Heavenly Father, so passionate for the lost world, so passionate for this teen's lost soul, that He willingly sent His perfect Son out from the throne of Heaven to die her death on a cross. Because of that death, because of His love, because of His fervent pursuit, she now has the opportunity to be whole. It's not elusive. It’s not mystical. It's forgiving, filling, and powerful enough to rebuild even the darkest soul. It’s an everlasting relationship with her Creator, the one and only King of the universe. The broken ideas of magic collided with the redeeming message of Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit almost tangibly filled the room.

The teen prayed and accepted Christ into her life!

“He’s in my heart now! I know He is!”

The pregnancy test read positive.

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”
Acts 4:12

The 12 Year Old's Story

                When the woman called to make an appointment for the Community Pregnancy Center, I thought nothing of it. She said it was for her granddaughter, so I knew the client was probably under 25. When she said that the girl didn’t have a driver’s license, I knew that the client was probably under 16. I assured the grandmother that we certainly accept school identification, as well. I made the appointment for the following day.

                The grandmother and grandfather followed behind the young girl last Thursday morning. Our receptionist greeted them warmly and received the school ID from the girl’s hands: a junior high’s school ID.

12 years old

                The client advocate took a deep breath and called the preteen into the first counseling room. The girl offered little to the conversation. She merely answered the questions asked of her. She was indeed 12 years old. The father of her baby was 16 years old-a sophomore in high school. They had only been dating for 3 months. For the small window of time, the couple was actively trying to get pregnant. They talked about it, and they both agreed. They wanted a baby, if for no other reason but that it might be fun to have one. When asked about the boyfriend, the client admitted that she didn’t want a future with him. He was just her “right now”.

                Her parents both lived out of the country. Apparently she’s been without them for many years, because she calls her grandparents “mom” and “dad”. Her own mother gave birth to her when she herself was just 14 years old. Though she was trying to have a baby, the young client went straight to her grandmother when she suspected a pregnancy, asking, “So what do I do now? Do I have an abortion?”

                She planned this pregnancy, yet she had no concept of actually carrying a baby for 9 months and then raising it for the next 18 years. She wanted to have a baby at 12 years old, but she wasn’t sure if she should have an abortion instead. She wanted to have sex and share that responsibility with someone, but she certainly didn’t want it long-term. When the client advocate asked about a relationship with God, the client said she was a Christian, but then also said that she didn’t think she would go to Heaven. She was a child by all definitions of the word.

The test read positive.

She’s 7 weeks pregnant.

                The client, slowly starting to grasp the reality she created, chose LIFE. She is scheduled and confirmed for an ultrasound: a child looking at her own child.

“Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, ‘Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.’”

Luke18:16

                Jesus calls for the children. He calls for this confused 12 year old. He knows her by name. He holds her close to Himself. He will use a childish decision to pull this child’s heart to His own. Even a twelve year old’s pregnancy is forgiveable and redeemable, because God’s grace forever stretches beyond the choices of man.

The Positive and Negative Story

Over 80% of all pregnancy tests at The Community Pregnancy Center read “positive”. Over 80% of the time, fears are realized by two distinct, purple lines on a pregnancy test. In one day, however, two abortion-minded women waited. Two talked with separate counselors. Two shared their reasons for an abortion. Two impatiently waited for the test to read, but only one walked out with a negative test.

                The first woman arrived in the morning. Our client advocate called the young woman in the counseling room. They sat and ran through the necessary questions. She was 23 years old, a mom to a 3 year old child and an 18 month old child. The father of these children, the father of the possible pregnancy now, was no longer in the client’s life. They dated for years, but the woman quietly refused to explain their current separation. She only confessed that she hated him.

                She just knew that she was pregnant, so she called an abortion clinic earlier in the week. She learned the price of her procedure. She learned what paperwork needed to be done. She just couldn’t make the appointment. She claimed that she didn’t yet know how to work the continual visits and check-ups into her schedule, but something stopped her from making that appointment. Someone stopped her.

“I don’t want an abortion, but I certainly don’t want this baby.”

                When asked about Christ, the woman said that she considered herself a Christian. The client advocate asked her about a relationship, but received only, “Umm, I talk to him sometimes?” It wasn’t that she was saying the wrong answer. It was that she didn’t know what a relationship with God was. The client advocate seized the open opportunity and explained how to have an actual, real-life relationship with God. It’s immensely more than a repeating the same words every Saturday morning. It’s more than constant one-sentence prayers before bed. It’s a passionate love story between her and the King over all earthly powers. Her Creator is alive and has not stopped pursuing her since she was first designed. He sent His own perfect, beloved Son to a ruthless death, because that was the price for a relationship with His creation. She was worth it.

She took the pregnancy test.

                The second woman arrived later in the day, around 4 o’clock in the afternoon. She walked into the entry room without a boyfriend or a mother, just signed in and sat down. She seemed calm, ready in a way. Our new afternoon client advocate called her name and led her into the first counseling room. She, too, asked the same typical questions. Similar to the woman in the morning, this client was a mom of two. Her oldest child was 15 years old and her second was 12. Our client, however, was 30, meaning that she gave birth when she herself was just 15 years old. She was no stranger to an unplanned pregnancy.

                She’s no longer with her boyfriend, and he’s not even remotely an option for her future. Baby or no baby, she was alone. She didn’t understand abstinence, nor did it seem appealing. She’s currently unemployed and living with her father, along with her two junior high kids.

“I want an abortion. I just can’t start all over.”

            When asked about Christ, she, too, claimed that she was a Christian. The client advocate started talking about a relationship, and the client stopped her: “It’s just hard for me to believe in a relationship with God.” Her mother died. The traumatic event of losing her parent scarred her in the most painful sense, in the most spiritual sense. A bad thing happened to a good person and apparently God said it was ok. The client advocate ached for the hardness in this heart. She carefully, sensitively shared who God truly is and what a relationship with Him means. He never looked down on earth as a puppet stage for which to play. He saw seeking souls. He hurt for hell-bound humanity. He intervened, though man rightfully deserved rejection. He built a bridge, though man himself built the barrier. The lost world, full of lost people, is fallen, so bad things will continue to happen to good men and women. Free will in the hands of fallen people is unpredictable, but God is still good. He is still in sovereign control. His grace is still MORE than any evil-even when it doesn’t make sense.

She took the pregnancy test.

The positive could only see negative. The negative could only see positive.

Two women wanting abortions.

Two tests.

Two results.

The first woman’s test read positive. The second woman’s test read negative.

The client’s ultrasound is scheduled and confirmed. God is working in both of these hearts, and His plans are GOOD, no matter what a pregnancy test reads.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen.”

Jeremiah 29:11-12

The Forgiven's Story

                Due to client advocates’ vacations at The Community Pregnancy Center, the counseling rooms were supposed to be closed this Thursday. Only two staff members were even in the office. We were supposed to be open for scheduling alone, yet a distinct voice inside refused to quiet. I had to counsel on Thursday. Literal stacks of papers scattered atop my desk, but somehow, that was irrelevant. It was as if someone needed Thursday. Maybe God was setting aside that specific, closed time for a specific, closed person.

He was.

                Thursday morning, she sat in our waiting room alone. Her "General Information" seemed to reveal a positive environment for a baby. The client marked that she was twenty-five years old. She was a Christian. She was married and absolutely against abortion. She must have come to the pregnancy center, because she only needed a Proof of Pregnancy for her Medicaid Application. This wasn’t an unplanned pregnancy. This didn’t seem to be a crisis. And yes, this pregnancy wasn’t a crisis.

“I’ve had 4 abortions.”

The first when she was 16.

The second when she was 19.

The third when she was 22.

The fourth when she was 24.

                When she was just 16 years old, she discovered her first positive pregnancy test. Surely not. Surely it was a mistake. Surely this wasn’t right. She denied the reality for weeks, dreading the response. Not only did this pollute her own plans for her life, but this also affected her family. This affected her mom. The very thought sent her into a panic. Finally, she gained the courage to confess the fact. Her mother immediately drove her to an abortion-operating clinic and bought an abortion for her 16 year old daughter, who by this time was ten weeks pregnant.

                The others followed a similar pattern. Her mom bought the second abortion for her when she was 19, beginning her college career. She paid for the third and the fourth herself, barely able to pay the $600 base fee for each one. Each abortion scarred her body, and each abortion shattered her heart. She knew she was far along. She knew that baby already had a heartbeat, already had arms and legs.

Just before her fourth abortion, she wanted to back out. The weight of her past abortions fell unbearably onto every part of soul. She couldn’t do this one more time. She couldn’t do that to another baby. She couldn’t endure the physical pain or the tormenting guilt for yet another abortion. She told the doctor that she changed her mind, but it was too late. The second a client signs her name onto that last waiver at these clinics, she is bound to an abortion. The doctor already administered the first dose into her body, killing the developing baby.

Walking out of the abortion clinic that fourth time, she decided to never walk into their doors again. Last year, her and her husband welcomed a son. Thursday, she sat before me desperately hoping for another positive test.

When she finished her story, I took a deep breath and reminded this haunted Christian whose she is. I shared the only Hope able to withstand such fortified, unmoved guilt, the only One able to wholly forgive. That’s why she’s been searching. That’s what she was so desperately hoping for. It was never about a test. It was never about another baby.

God opened the counseling room Thursday to assure His daughter that she is forgiven.

                Nothing-no thought, no word, no action-on this fallen earth could ever reach beyond the righteous blood of the Son of God. Nothing-not one, two, three, four, or fifteen abortions-could ever be unredeemable. This ashamed woman is loved, wanted, pursued every day of her life, and even more—she is forgiven by the King of Kings. Her entire countenance changed. The Lord God filled the room, and seemed to relax this pleading woman into His peace. We prayed together, accepting every wave of grace.

She left joyful. She left free.

She left finally forgiven.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

Romans 8:1-2

The Abortion Exception's Story

She walked into the Community Pregnancy Center, looking for a specific answer. She didn’t want to hear a single word about adoption. She really didn’t want to hear too much about parenting, either. She couldn’t bear either path as possible options. She made her appointment, because she wanted someone to assure her that an abortion would be ok. The operation was morally wrong to her, yet she wanted it anyway. She convinced herself that her situation was the exception to the rule and her abortion would acceptable. She just needed that outside confirmation.

Knowing only that her General Information read “Undecided” on the question of abortion, our client advocate led the teenager to the counseling room. She asked the basic questions about STIs and LMP, but the young girl simply began explaining her story—her reasons for a justifiable abortion.

Our client first revealed her age. She was just eighteen years old. She wasn’t one of those twenty-something church women with the dream job and the dream husband and the planned pregnancy. She was just eighteen years old, a student still living with her parents. She didn’t have a job. She wasn’t married. She wasn’t in the life where a baby made perfect sense. She had never been pregnant before now. She hadn’t even told her parents yet, because she knew and already feared their disappointment.

She then confessed her isolation. She couldn’t bring herself to even speak the name of the baby’s father. When he learned that she was pregnant, he broke up with her. He told her to abort, because he certainly was not going to accept that life with her. If she actually gave birth to this baby, he promised her that she would never see him again. If she chose life, she would be alone in all doctor’s appointments. She would have no financial support from a loving partner. She would have zero acknowledgement from him. Their baby meant nothing, their relationship meant nothing, and she meant nothing. Sex was never a commitment for him. She was alone, completely unwanted and abandoned.

The weeks passed, but they did not pass quickly. She ignored the abortion clinic, hoping against all hope that somehow her situation was a horrible nightmare. She could somehow wake up, and her future of a loving marriage with kids would still be possible as she always wanted, but she never awoke to such a reality. She was growing further into her pregnancy, and she couldn’t deny it any longer. Before she could pay for an abortion, she needed someone to tell her that she was right in getting one. Society told her that her situation, all her reasons were more than enough to warrant an abortion.

She was a teen--She was a student--She was unemployed--She was unsupported

Even still, she needed someone else to assure her that this was right. She took a breath after unleashing her story, ready for that confirmation. Our Client Advocate didn’t hesitate. She asked the client about her relationship with God. Confused by the seeming irrelevance of the topic, the client admitted that she wasn’t really sure. She grew up Catholic, but didn’t quite understand what an actual relationship with Christ meant. Praying for the words, our Client Advocate shared the unfathomable love that God Himself personally feels for her. The counselor didn’t skip or skimp over any detail. The Maker of Heaven and earth wanted her so desperately that He sent His only Son to pay the fatal price—just so a relationship could even be an option for her to choose. With Him, she would never be alone, never unwanted, and not even for a moment abandoned. She would be His, treasured and protected.

Our client prayed and accepted Christ!

After the positive pregnancy test, our client waited a few weeks for her ultrasound. Our nurse led her to our sonogram room and began to explain the images on the screen. Finally, for the first time, our client saw her ten-week old baby!

This was more than a teen pregnancy,
more than disappointed parents,
and more than a disappearing boyfriend.

This was a moving body, a beating heart, and a verifiable life!

She chose LIFE!

In the weeks since, God has provided a new man, a boyfriend who supernaturally supports our client’s decision to keep a baby who is not even his! Her Savior softened the hearts of her parents to accept and encourage their pregnant daughter. She is now attending our Points to Success classes on Thursdays to better provide and parent her growing baby.



“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:19

Nothing is beyond Christ’s control to reverse. Nothing is too broken for His Hands to rebuild.

Contrary to media and culture, no unsupported, unemployed, teenage student is beyond Christ’s ability or beyond His passion to redeem!